I'm a little peeved with Lord and Taylor today. I was on the website at Bridgewater Commons, and searched for a specific pair of shoes. It listed Lord and Taylor as not only having them, but having them in stock.
You can then have them check the inventory, and it will email you or text you within 10 minutes to let you know if they have something, like say a specific size or color. I used the form, and I did get a response within 10 minutes saying...."it's taking longer than we thought". I waited another 15 mins to nothing, so finally I decided to drive over.
It's not that big of a deal, the weather is fabulous, so I had my windows down and was enjoying the day. I went in, and not only do they not have them in stock, they don't have them AT ALL!!!!! What? It says you have them, and you have them in stock at this particular store. Nope, they don't even have the style at all, regardless of what it says.....nice.
That sucked, but hey, I just made the most of it and wondered down to Bloomies since I was there. Nope, they didn't have what they were supposed to either....grrrr.
I hopped back in my truck and headed home. At least I enjoyed the drive.
All joking aside, my knees do feel the strain of this extra weight. I've been working out with a trainer one-on-one since September. I also took up clean eating during mid-to-late December. The weight still sits on me like a ton of bricks.
We've discovered I'm insulin resistant, and that's part of the reason this weight isn't moving. I've got lots of muscle, but the weight itself has not shifted. It would appear my liver is dumping extra sugars while I'm sleeping, and the insulin my pancreas is popping out, isn't doing it's job. I have "slacker insulin"...man, figures! Anyway, now that we've figured this out, and I've started meds to help my bloodsugars, I'm hoping things will start to progress.
I'm one of those people who is working out 3x a week supervised (March, April and May)...2x a week before that, and working with a dietitian,and still can't lose weight. I'm one of those people who can control my sugars during the day with food and exercise, but when I go to sleep at night, that devilish sugar/insulin mix is getting messed up.
I'm also one of those people who has a bad thyroid, and have been on meds for 17 years. We need to increase it again next visit.
My metabolism is fighting me every single step of the way. I'm not giving up though. I always gave up in the past. I try and try and try...and nothing. It's left me in tears, and frustrated, but this time...I'm going to win. It may take me awhile, but I'll get there.
I'll be rebooking more appointments this week, which will take me through the summer. In September, and entire year will have passed. I'm working hard, my body feels it, and the weight is still here. ALL OF IT....yup, aware of my calories, they are in check...
So if you see me on the street...don't assume I'm lazy because I'm fat. I work out hard, I eat well, and my body is making it very hard on me. I think that's one of my big things....wondering if people think I'm lazy because of my size. Come work out with me one day, and you'll see how hard we bust my rear. I work hard....and while the pounds aren't peeling off...I know inside, and my husband sees how hard I'm working.
Maybe one day, my body will reflect the work I'm putting in, and I hope it does. I deserve results, but right now, my body chemistry is making it very difficult. Thankfully, I've found someone who cares to help me find my answers. Between my trainer/dietitian, and my doctor...I'm on a team that's going to help me figure out this puzzle.
Wow! How does the weather change so quickly? Yesterday it was windy, rainy and generally crappy outside. It also was in the 40's and 50's! Yikes, I didn't like it one bit.
This morning, I wake up to sunshine. It's going to hit 72 today, and 74 tomorrow. It doesn't surprise me going from rain to sunshine, but how does it jump 20+ degrees in one day?
Either way, I guess I'd better not complain. I'm thrilled to have the windows open and I'll be heading out later for some fresh air.
I love my daily schedule. I work in my jammies at my desk. I get up without an alarm clock, and if it's a nice day, I'll take a mid day break to either sit out in the sunroom and read, or go out for awhile.
I work by my clock, when I want, and all my work gets accomplished. I'm responsible, so that means if I took a break earlier in the day, I'll get it done later in the day. I'm going to miss being on my schedule when I go back to school.
It means waking up to an alarm clock again. It means being on their schedule. It means my Friday's "out to lunch" with my mom and sister has to change to another time. It means a lot of changes, like having to wear clothes to school. hahahaha, instead of PJ's...
...but it means working towards another license. It will be worth it.
The weather is looking iffy for Saturday. There's a town wide yard sale, rain or shine. Am I going to put stuff out, only to have it rained on? It's looking like showers right now, which we can handle. If it's full out rain, we may pass, and do our own yard sale the following week.
Praying for sunshine!
