Surviving NJ

Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

When my boys were small, the house was littered with toys here and there. Soon, they were old enough to start picking up behind themselves. Graice loves toys….but she doesn’t pick up after herself! We’ve tried to teach her, but it isn’t happening…lazy dog.

If I try to pick up her toys and put them in a bucket, she doesn’t like it at all! She’ll go in one by one and pull them all out. She likes them spread all about, so she has easy access to them! We rotate out the worst ones when they go to the kennel. We take one to the kennel, and then say good-bye to it when we pick them up! Here’s a little bit of what my family room floor looks like today.

Little Dog wants nothing to do with toys. He could care less! We have one more dog coming into the family in 2 weeks. We’ve bought two toys for him, and we’ll see if he likes them. They have to be "Gracie" proof, but small enough for him. It was a tough search, but we found two perfect ones. Still…Boo (our beagle), not interested in toys.  

Here’s more of Gracie’s casualties left all over my floor!

This mallard duck is one of her favorites. She’s partial to toys with fur, so she can lick and bathe them! LOL It’s so cute…

Uh-oh, I see stuffing…time to sew up another one. She has three versions of this monkey. She loves him, and he’s held up to 120 pounds of dog for quite awhile. Call in the medics…err..I better get a thread and needle.

I think the yellow duck has seen better days. I guess he gets sent to the kennel during vacation time. She’s not much into cleaning up…that’s my job! 

I used to participate on a regular basis in Self Portrait Sunday. My friend Cass used to host it over on DigiCass.com. I think she does it over on MidlifeMusings.com now. I got away from doing it for awhile, and the blog I used to post it on, I put into hibernation. I decided to take a picture this morning and tell you what happened to me when I started doing Self Portrait Sunday before.

I’m very self critical, or I should say, I’m self critical about some things. I’ll be honest, it used to be very hard for me to see a picture of myself that I liked. I either looked too fat, my face was too red, my hair looked bad, I had a double chin in it, and so forth. You get the idea…it was always something….and the thing is, I saw it more than others did.

When I started getting into the habit of seeing myself weekly in a picture, I found myself going from "I hate this picture" to "This one isn’t so bad". You see, honestly, once I got used to seeing myself in a picture, it wasn’t as traumatic to me. It sounds silly, but others started getting used to it also, and they were less critical over time. Instead of seeing things like, "I look bad today, but here it is", you’d see "This is me".

It’s healing to be able to look at yourslf, and not be disappointed in what you see. I used to wear make-up daily, and working from home, I got used to seeing myself without it. In the beginning, it really bothered me; now it doesn’t phase me in the least bit. 

We become more comfortable with ourselves when we can be okay with what we see in ourselves.

So….this is me, taken this morning May 18th. It could be better, it could be worse, but true enough, if you were at my house today, this is what I look like. You know what? I’m okay with that….and that’s a nice thing.

If you haven’t tried participating in Self-Portrait Sunday, give it a try. You may find it healing your inner critic as well.  

Max will soon be coming to live with us. We are really excited about this addition to our family!

I just wanted to post his picture, so you could see why I’m all giddy and joyful today.  

I had an exciting day today. I got to go meet a couple of dogs. I went to decide which dog would be the new addition to our family. I went through a rescue group that we got both of our other dogs through. I love this woman…she is so good with the dogs, and she does such an amazing job with them.

We’ll be adding our family member next month. Because we’ll be going away in early June, we made the decision to wait a little bit, rather than bring him into our home, and then turn around and kennel him, which would be confusing. Stay tuned to see his pic shortly! 

They aren’t best buddies, though it would appear that they are. One loves the other more….unrequited love.

Actually, the cat adores the dog. The dog growls and says, “Leave Me ALONE!”, but the cat says no, and rubs against her face. He just refuses to give in. He is constantly wanting to be next to her when he’s feeling snuggly if my lap isn’t available. It’s kind of funny, 120 pounds of get away from me, and the cat just says NOPE and curls up.

They weren’t always like this. The cat avoided the dog, but one day, he changed his mind, and decided to make friends. Grace tolerates the cat a lot more each day, but it’s a ritual they go through daily!

See my blonde? Whenever I take my picture inside, the indoor lighting makes my hair look darker. I always look at it and scratch my head, wondering why. My one friend Amy mentioned in natural light it would show up better, so I tried it! The top is taken outside, and the bottom one is taken inside. See, you guys always see me with it looking brunette, but I’m a golden blonde. (with a little help from a box)..even my skin looks different!

I’ll have to get some logo pens to pass out, I’m a blonde, even though I look like a brunette online! Okay, maybe not, but it was a thought! Can you just see me standing at the entrance to the grocery store with my pens, “Hello, I’m a blonde, would you like a pen?”
It’s an exciting life I lead, eh?

This bookshelf sits between my two desks. I had an empty shelf I hadn’t placed anything on yet, and the cat decided he would make it his own. After enough times climbing up there, I put some old fleece pajama pants down for him, and he’s been in love. It’s not an official cat condo, but it’s another cozy space that he loves to curl up in.

He loves nooks and crannies, so while I saw an empty shelf that some books might go in, he claimed it as his own. I love looking over and seeing him sleeping there while I’m working on projects. He always looks so comfortable!  

It’s a funny thing, this thing called life.
Last week I was told they found a lump in my right breast. They took extra films of it…and while I was used to a lump in my left breast for the last few years, the right one was new to me. I was nervous since it was a new discovery. I told some of my friends, and they said a prayer for me, and kept me in their thoughts. One of my friends Ang said, let’s not just pray for good results, let’s pray that the lump is gone when they go to do the test.
…can you believe it, the lump was gone when they did the test today. WAIT…the story isn’t over yet. I was amazed, and thrilled…until they discovered a second lump in my left breast, next to the previous lump. Now my left breast has two small lumps side by side in it. Hmmm, once again waiting on results, this time ultrasound ones.
So here I am, going in for a lump in my right breast, they can’t locate it, it’s not there now! Funny thing is, the left surprised us!
I’m okay…it’s a wait and see game right now, and that’s about all I ca do…so until I hear..so be it.
(Hugs to my friends)…I appreciate your kindess and prayers.

I had a mammogram today, and they found a lump in my right breast. I’m not in a total state of panic, as I have cystic breasts. I went through this about 5 years ago when they found a lump in my left breast. I was called back and they rechecked….and the next year, and the next year it happened again. It hasn’t changed size or shape, and the left one has the all clear.

Today, they found a lump in my right breast. The left one is still where it is, no change, but the right one is new. She took extra films, and they’ll have a better answer for me after the doctor sees the films.

I have mixed emotions on this. On one hand, I’m not overly nervous, because my brain thinks it’s just a repeat of what happened with my left breast.

On the other hand, it’s struck me and my heart is in my throat. How can you not be scared when they tell you they’ve found a lump in your breast. My grandmother lost both her breasts to breast cancer. I went shopping after I heard and spent a little too much. I didn’t eat though, so that was a choice I made. My normal reactions to a very stressful situation: shop or eat. I didn’t want to go off track, since I’ve been doing so well with clean eating. Trust me, Cold Stone Creamery was calling my name, but I turned to Fashion Bug instead.

Do I have a right to be nervous? Of course I do, but if I say it out loud, am I over reacting to something that hasn’t happend? Have you been there?

Ironically, my sister is waiting on some test results this week as well. It’s taken forever for her to get her results, and here it’s my turn to wait.

Because I couldn’t help myself, I went and looked at pictures of women who have gotten a mastectomy. It’s on my mind….are my breasts safe for another year? What if they aren’t? I’m not ready to part with them, or part of them. They’re mine…don’t take them away.

Mixed emotions. Like I said, not a total panic, but a quiet sadness that I have to sit and think about this for awhile. It brings me back to the first time I heard I had a lump in my left breast, and I was left wondering…soon. I’ll have my answer soon. It will be okay. I know it will….I still feel sad…just sort of want to cry, but nothing to cry at right now.  

My sister is waiting on some important tests. Its’ been WELL OVER a week now, and she still hasn’t heard anything. They have to know how hard this wait is. She tried calling yesterday, but the office was closed for Good Friday. It’s so frustrating waiting on a phone call, and you don’t know what they’re going to say.

Is it no news is good news, or it’s just taking awhile to get the answers? Nobody knows at this point, so hopefully Monday or Tuesday we’ll FINALLY get an answer.