Surviving NJ

Why am I trying to feed my soul? I know the answer to this question…it’s not a secret. It still doesn’t help sometimes…having the answer is only half of the battle.

Sometimes we just have to accept that the growing process takes time — as much as the healing process.

I also know that hormones start a wave inside of my body that creates chaos and confusion. It doesn’t make the hormones any less powerful at that moment in time.

Just because you’ve been driving a path towards a finish line doesn’t mean you won’t get detoured over and over again.

…there are moments of bleakness in piles of joy and happiness. On the see-saw of life, my happiness meter is stacked so well that it’s crazy how one tiny, itty bitty piece of “emotion” can weigh it down.

Feeding the soul — yeah, that’s the ticket. How can you be surrounded by people and still feel alone sometimes? People talking to you, with you, at you…and you see them…you know they are there, but it’s like that screen in your window…it’s still blocking you from the outside….if only you could push that damn screen out of the window so it stops blocking the fresh air.

I know the fresh air will be back. I know the stupid, heavy hormone feeling is clouding my clear thoughts – I know feelings are blown out of proportion…common sense, yes, yes, I know that expression…where is it now?

Sabotage of the soul….it’s a game I play. I don’t want to play it anymore.

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